10 Brand New political Jokes

Here are some Brand New political Jokes. These thread will be regularly updated. So come again and get some more laugh.

The pink rat

Once, there was a city with severe rat problem. Everybody was desperate to get rid of this situation. Then, a man arrived. He offered the people that, if they pay him 1 million dollar he can kill all the rats. People agreed. Then the people bring out a pink rat from his box. After a while, magic happened. The pink rat called all of the rats of the city and tell them to follow him. Then the pink rat jumped into the river. Rest of the rats followed him and died as well.

The owner of the pink rat got his million dollar and tends to leave the town. But the people told him to wait for a moment asked him politely, “Sir, do you have any pink politician?”

 

Here is Another brand new political jokes

A tyrant in disguise

A very oppressive tyrant once went out in the city with disguise. He wanted to know what people thinks about him. He went into a restaurant and asked a customer very politely, “Hello sir, what do you think about our ruler?’ The man suddenly became solemn and looked here and there. He then asked the disguised tyrant to lower his voice, and then he told him to follow him. The curious tyrant followed the man. The man seemed to be very fearful and he was looking outside often. Then the two came close to a jungle. The man looked around and make sure that no one followed them. Then the man whispered into the disguised tyrant ear, “I actually like him!”

 

I want to be a politician

One day a boy came to Churchill and told him, Sir I just left my medical education.

Churchill surprised, Why!

The boy replied, I want to become a politician like you and to serve my country.

Churchill : see, my boy, You left the medical education, I think, you have already done enough.

 

Politician of the opposition party

Masha Rostova : What you want to become in future?

Dimitri : I want to be a politician of the opposition party.

Masha : oh, why?

Dimitri : I am having proper training now, I have been beaten by police almost everyday.

Masha : My god! why! who!

Dimitri : Oh, my father is a policeman.

 

There are more political jokes to come…. just be patient

 

I want to be a communist : Political Jokes

A man call to help center

Help Center : how can I help you sir?

The Man : I believe in communism, and I want to join this kind of politics.

Help Center : then? how can I help?

The Man : can you give me contact of a professional in this regard? I want to take his/her suggestion.

Help Center : Ok, write down this number sir, He is a professional psychiatrist.

 

Can we tell them scientist?

Two researchers where talking

First one : Lenin, Angels and Marx, they were the founder of communism. Can we tell them scientist?

Second: obviously not. Scientist first test their theory on animals, not on human.

 

Kiss of a Politician : Pure Political Jokes

A dedicated politician who did not marry. A Journalist came to him to take an interview.
Journalist asks: Can I ask you personal question sir?
Politician replied: Yes sure why not!
The journalist said, you didn’t marry, did you not even kissed once? Politician thought about it and replied, honestly speaking, once I was taken by Army when there was a coup ongoing. They forced me to kneel down on the earth, then for once, my lips are touched the ground.

 

The Goat and Politician Jokes

There are three friends. one is a doctor, one is an engineer and one is a politician. One day they all where taking a stroll in the evening. They were lost and took shelter in a house of a farmer. The farmer said, I can only accommodate two person. Another one must have to stay in the goat-house.
Dr said, no problem I will take the goat house.
But that doctor can’t tolerate the smell of Goat and leave that house within 10 minutes.
Engineer said, oK I will go there, I think I can tolerate the smell.
But the engineer also came out within 10 minutes.
Lastly, the politician went into that goat-house. After 10 minutes, all of the Goats came out.

 

Political jokes : Politician and his dog

A Well known politician once went into a morning walk with his dog.
a Pedestrian saw them and asked, hey where are you going with this donkey.
The politician got angry and Seth, can’t you see this is a dog not a donkey!
The man Said, oh I am asking the dog actually.

 

Political jokes : This stamp of a politician

Once, a tyrant Decided to make a postal stamp with his picture. Then one day he decided to visit the postal office.
The ruler asked one employee, how is the stamp selling?
Employee Said, that stamps are not selling good.
Tyrant asked, and why is that? Is there any problem with the printing?
Employee: This is good actually…
The ruler got Furious, there must be some fault in the glue.
Employee: No sir the glue is ok, but the people are actually licking on the other side of the stamp.